Mission Complete
by Aeolian Wind
Summary: I've decided to turn this into a series of one-shot stories. Summary of first chapter: Team 7 is sent on a mission to save kidnapped girls from a mafia boss. What Sasuke and Naruto didn't expect, was that they had to dress up as girls to do it.
1. Disguise

**Fufufu... This was fun to write. Enoy~**

"All right you three, here's how we're going to do this," Kakashi had started. Sasuke, Naruto, and Sakura had been gathered at the bridge to listen to the plan of the latest mission they had been assigned. The client had seemed very insistent on catching this guy. Although, she had been very vague on the details of the man.

"So far, all we know is that this guy is a mafia boss. He's been targeting, and kidnapping young women of roughly the age of sixteen. He seems to be very dangerous, as he has hired several ninja bodyguards from various other countries." Kakashi paused to let the three take in the severity of the situation. They gave Kakashi a curt nod.

"So the plan I have thought of will go something like this, the three of you will be infiltrating the club they are scheduled to be at. I want all of you to gather as much information as you can on the whereabouts of the rest of the missing girls. I will be there, waiting until the three of you have acquired all the information you can from him. You follow?"

Naruto seemed to disapprove of the idea of only infiltrating instead of getting right into the action and kicking some ass. "We won't even get to fight at _all_?" Sakura punched the blonde fool upside the head. "Shut up Naruto. Not everything is about what _you_ want."

Kakashi sighed heavily. "Only if it's absolutely necessary. We want to get this guy with the least amount of damage done to public property as possible, and without hurting any civilians, Naruto."

Naruto crossed his arms defiantly, but said nothing further.

"Now, if we're all done complaining, there is one other thing I need you all to know." The three of them looked up expectantly at their teacher.

"You're all going to be dressing up for this occasion. This means, even you two," Kakashi paused to point at a confused Naruto, and an equally confused Sasuke. "Will be dressing up as girls."

"EH?" Naruto squeaked in disbelief. Kakashi wasn't _really_ planning on sending them into a public area dressed up as _girls_ right? Please say he's kidding…

"Why can't we just use a disguising Jutsu instead of this?" Sasuke, the ever logical one of the bunch asked.

Kakashi chuckled before responding. "The ninja that this guy has hired are all of jonin rank. I want no mess ups. So, therefore, I want you both to focus on concealing your chakra, instead of running the risk of concentrating too hard on maintaining the transformation jutsu, that you completely forget about hiding said chakra. The goal is to infiltrate, remember this. It is _imperative_ that you all seem like ordinary citizens." Kakashi finished, eyeing his three students to make sure they understood.

"So let me get this straight. You want _us_," Naruto started, pointing between himself and Sasuke. "Two _guys_ to dress up like _girls_ to get into this club place, and get information?"

Kakashi smiled behind his mask, his only exposed eye curving into a frown. "Yes, that's pretty much the gist of it. What better way to acquire information, then to look like three pretty, roughly sixteen year old _girls_?" Naruto hung his head in defeat. Sasuke didn't seem too pleased with the idea either. Sakura looked merely amused with the instructions.

"Once you know the location of the kidnapped girls, I want you three to get out of there. I want no heroics from any of you. If you absolutely _need_ to use your jutsu's, use them moderately."

The three nodded. "The expected time of their arrival is exactly 6PM, you have approximately five hours to get ready. Understood?" They gave another nod.

"All right then, the club is in the village neighboring Konoha. The name of the club is The Red Dragon. It should only take you thirty or so minutes to reach it if you don't stop running." Kakashi finished his final piece of instructions to his three students. When he was satisfied that they got all of that, he disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Naruto was the first to say anything in the absence of Kakashi. "Man… do we really have to do this?" He couldn't help, but to complain about the situation. Hell if he wanted to dress up like a girl. Transforming into one is one thing, but cross-dressing was a completely different story.

Sakura's temple formed a visible vein. "Do you honestly _want_ to leave those girls in the hands of this guy? If we fight, and take too long, what will happen to them? Use your brain Naruto. If you even have one in that sad excuse of a thing you call a head." Naruto reflexively flinched at _that_ burn. Man, even _Sasuke_ didn't go that much out of his way to insult him like that. Just a nonchalantly thrown "loser" and that was the end of it.

It was like Sasuke sensed he was being thought of, for he spoke. "Let's get this over with." Sakura seemed to forget all about Naruto in favor of listening to her beloved speak five words.

Naruto grunted in displeasure. "Where do we go exactly to, "get this over with?" He crossed his arms childishly and pouted at the prospect of having to dress up. Sasuke seemed to think, but deemed it too much of a daunting task. He turned to Sakura who seemed delighted to finally have his attention for once in her life.

"Where exactly… should we go for this?" Sakura looked overly thrilled at getting the opportunity to dress up Sasuke, of all people. After a moment of thinking of the best place to go buy feminine attire, she gave Sasuke a devilish smile. It could have easily been mistaken for hunger if she kept that up. Naruto noticed the look that adorned Sakura's normally innocent face. He gulped, instincts telling him to run for the hills. Sasuke didn't exactly look too excited about the way he was being looked at either. And as if Sakura couldn't possibly get any creepier, she gave a dark chuckle.

* * *

She had dragged the two very reluctant teens to a small shop in Konoha. This shop in particular sold very intricately designed kimono's. She had given the shop a thought, and instantly knew this was the place where they were getting their "equipment."

Sakura pushed open the glass door, throwing the two boys in. They looked back at her in clear annoyance, but the evil smile on her face never wavered. "Now, pick out one you like!" She had said before she sent the two off on their journey through, dare they say… "the mall."

It was like a freaking jungle. Except the trees were dresses and skirts, and the animals were girls. Naruto could have sworn he saw a monkey… no wait, that was just a little girl running through the clothes.

He couldn't stop the swallow that forced itself upon him. "I… I just have to pick one out, then I can get the hell out of here." He used that as his mantra as he looked through the dresses that were presented to him. He found them all to look positively atrocious. Only really old people could get away with the freaking bag-like dress he was holding with… freaking_ amoeba _looking designs.

Naruto had to wear one of these? And people hated on _him_ for dressing in orange… who the hell wore lime green skirts?

Sasuke himself wasn't fairing much better. He had yet to find anything worthy to be worn by him. It was a sea of disgustingly tailored trash. Whoever made this shit should be sued for calling themselves a fashion designer and getting away with it. …And the person who passed them as a fashion designer should just be plain executed.

Sasuke made it to the far end of the aisle wondering to himself how he had managed to get this far without being blinded by ugly. The few clothes he saw on the hangers this time were kimono's. And interestingly enough, weren't that ugly. They ranged in many different colors, as it seemed that they all had a colored theme. Dark red, with a pink dragon stretching up the side, bright yellow with slightly orange sunflowers, etc. Sasuke still didn't find one that suited his fancy, that is, until he saw the one at the far end of the rack. It was a light blue, with dark blue hibiscus flowers running from the bottom to the top. The obi was a dark blue as well, and tied in the front as apposed to the back.

Sasuke walked up to it, picking it up. He was about to take it with him, when he felt a slight tug of resistance. Agitated, Sasuke looked over to see a girl had also picked up the very same kimono. They stared at each other for what felt like a small eternity. Sasuke was first to recover, and unleashed his infamous Uchiha death glare on the girl. "I saw this first."

The girl puffed out her cheeks, giving him a heated glare of her own. "I picked it up first, it's mine." Sasuke tugged at the material in his hands. "I found this first, go find another one!" He all but shouted at her. "It's mine! Let go!" She yelled with equal force. And the two began their struggle for the dress in their hands. Then at that moment, reality decided to hit Sasuke, and with full force.

'_What the fuck am I doing? I'm not seriously fighting over a fucking dress am I?'_ Once the epiphany had hit him however, the girl relinquished her hold on the blue kimono. "Fine! Just take it if you want it so bad!" She stormed off, parting the people in the store like Moses parted the sea. Sasuke stared at the girl's retreating back for a moment before he glared down at his unwanted prize as if it had started all of this.

'_Oh well…_' He thought exasperatedly. '_At least it's not ugly…_'

Naruto had also found a kimono of his liking. Fortunately enough for him, no one wanted the one he had chosen. They just had bad tastes.

The kimono he had found was, of course, orange. It had an autumn look, for it had a design of a tree on it. Branching out over the dress. It had a nice mix of browns and reds and oranges, and Naruto quite liked it. So he took it with him with a cheery smile on his face. He had met up with Sasuke on his way back to Sakura, and gave him an inquisitive look at the defeated expression on his usually stoic face.

"What happened to you?" He asked, just out of plain curiosity. Sasuke glared at him through his jet black bangs. "Don't ask." So Naruto closed his mouth and settled for snickering. It wasn't often the great prince of darkness ever got his feathers ruffled. A sight not often witnessed.

When the scowl on his face increased in intensity at seeing Naruto laughing at him, Naruto just grinned. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Fuck you."

At that moment, Sakura decided that this was indeed the perfect moment to show up. "Have you guys decided on something?" She asked ever so innocently. When the scowl from Sasuke was redirected onto her, she lost some of the vibrancy she once had. "I'll take that as a yes." She almost squeaked that sentence out. Sakura took the two kimono's from their hands and rushed to the register to pay for them.

* * *

And now, here they were, in Sakura's house changing. Why Sakura's house? Because the two boys needed the guidance of a female for this particular situation, and they'd be damned if they went to _each other_'s house. Sasuke refused to take any other room to change in other than the bathroom, leaving Naruto to change in Sakura's room. An idea that Sakura herself wasn't particularly fond of. But she couldn't very well argue with an irate Sasuke. So she grinned and bared it. …She'd kill Naruto if he dared touch anything of her's. Skin him alive or something equally as creative. She was sitting in her living room tapping her foot restlessly on the floor. How long did it take to put on a dress? Honestly, _she_ didn't even take this long.

Sakura was in the process of picking at her nails when she heard one of the doors open. She turned her head at the sound and watched the hallway in anticipation. What she saw however, was quite disturbing.

Before they had went to her house, they had made a quick stop at a store that sold accessories. Sakura had the idea in mind that they might should wear a wig to completely disguise the fact that their jaws were a bit more squared, and their necks were a bit more thick, and their shoulders were a bit too broad. Sasuke completely denied the wig, but had decided on a blue hibiscus flower pin to match the dress. Naruto got a blonde wig that was similar to his sexy jutsu's hair style. Unfortunately for him however, it didn't produce the same effect.

Naruto waddled out into the open in front of Sakura. He looked awkward standing there with cork sandals and a form fitting kimono. Which, in Sakura's opinion, was the problem. Naruto _had_ no form. He looked like a… like a…

"I look like a fucking _dike_." Sakura turned her head away to cover the overwhelming urge to laugh at Naruto's expense. She tried to console the fuming blonde between giggles. "You don't look that bad. Look at the bright side, you look _somewhat_ like a girl." Naruto glared at her, crossing his arms over his chest. Sakura then got an idea. She ran to her room and produced a bra from her drawer as well as a few socks. She came back to Naruto and grinned. "Put this on!" She exclaimed in visible amusement. Oh, how fun this was, how fun indeed.

Naruto looked horrified, and took the items presented to him with shaky hands. "Help me then, I don't know how this works." So she did. Stuffing the socks in the bra to give some fullness to his chest. She backed away once her work was done and shoved him into her room to her full length mirror to see the finished piece. Naruto stood there staring for several minutes before saying anything. After a few more moments he huffed in childish anger. "Now I just look like a _bimbo_ dike…"

Sakura raised her hand to her mouth to hide the giggles that she couldn't contain, but before Naruto could properly whine about her laughing at him, the sound of the bathroom door interrupted him. They both looked out of the doorway into the hall to see what had become of Sasuke. Their mouths soon flew open in sheer shock at what they saw.

Standing, right there in the hallway, was Sasuke. It looked like he actually _had_ hips, and although he was flat, just looked like a normal teenage girl. A freaking _pretty_, normal teenage girl. The hibiscus flower was even working to finish off the look. Sasuke's naturally pretty face and long eyelashes did him much justice in this situation. Naruto even felt the heat of an oncoming blush, as did Sakura.

"Wow Sasuke, just… wow." Was all Sakura could say while looking Sasuke up and down. Sasuke was also blushing, quite darkly too.

"I don't like it." Was the only thing he said before he turned back to hide in the bathroom. The two rushed forward screaming out a simultaneous "no!" grabbing Sasuke by the waist and dragging him out back into the hallway. Sasuke grunted in displeasure before slapping at the arms that were firmly latched onto his waist. Once he was finally released, the two stood in front of him. Sasuke crossed his arms and looked somewhere to his right in defiance.

"Sasuke, you look so pretty!" Sakura nearly squealed. Her hands were clasped together in front of her face while her eyes glittered in admiration and awe. Naruto gave the raven a thumbs up. "Hell yeah, if I didn't know you were a guy, I'd totally tap that!" The room became very quiet after that exclamation. Naruto looked at the two in the room who were giving him skeptical looks. He could even slightly make out the sound of crickets outside.

"Uh…"

"Anyway, we have about two more hours before we have to head down to the village. We could use this time to get use to walking and such." Sasuke and Naruto looked at the person who just spoke in an inquisitive silence. Sasuke spoke after a moment.

"What do you mean?" Sakura took on that evil glint in her eyes again. "Well, you have to act ladylike of course." Naruto gulped. He felt that he had been doing a lot of nervous swallowing today. "What exactly do we have to do?"

"Well for starters, no scratching," Naruto slowly lowered the hand that was near his crotch. "Ladies don't scratch at _balls they don't have._" Sakura said glaring at Naruto who found something on the wall to be very interesting.

"Secondly, walk with style. Guys just walk, girls walk with grace and confidence." Naruto furrowed his eyebrows a bit at that one. He looked at Sakura before speaking. "Really? I never noticed you walked with grace and confidence. I guess you just walk like a guy then." A vein throbbed on Sakura's temple. Naruto didn't get to speak any further before a fist connected with his jaw.

Naruto fell in a heap on the floor. He groaned loudly rubbing at his swore jaw. Sasuke just stood there watching the exchange of words and fists in Sakura's case. He wasn't really paying attention to them much. Just the task at hand. He was an Uchiha, and as foolish as the mission may be, he would complete it flawlessly. So he walked with style, grace, and confidence to the living room. Sakura completely forgot about Naruto and watched Sasuke's performance. She clapped her hands at the display. "That was perfect Sasuke! You're amazing!" The sparkly look of admiration had resurfaced to her face.

Naruto hauled himself up into a sitting position. He glared at Sakura and then to Sasuke. "I don't know what you're talking about. Sasuke _always_ walks like that. I guess he just walks like a woman." Before the blonde new what was coming, he was smashed back onto the ground by a cork sandal to the stomach. Sasuke removed his foot and placed it back on the ground.

He walked briskly out of the house yelling over his shoulder, "Let's just get this over with." Sakura raised her hand to her mouth to call out to Sasuke. "But we still have a while before we even have to be there!" But Sasuke didn't appear to be listening as the door was harshly pulled open for the raven to walk out. Sakura lowered her hand and mumbled to herself. "Well, I guess we could look around for about an hour before we have to go there." She turned her head to look at Naruto, who appeared to be twitching sporadically on the floor. She sighed before hauling him up into a standing position.

* * *

So here they were, standing in front of the club that was The Red Dragon. They were staring up at it, silently debating whether or not they should go in.

"I've never actually been clubbing before. Maybe this won't be so bad. We could try to enjoy ourselves." Sakura said, trying to cheer up the two boys on either side of her who looked positively horrified that they were out in public… _crossdressing. _"Fucking easier for you to say. You aren't dressed up as a dike." Sakura gave her blonde headed companion a sympathetic smile. "And hell, he looks prettier than the majority of the girls here." The sympathetic smile began to waver. Sasuke sent Naruto a demonic glare.

Sakura sighed. "Lets just go in." She said. Sasuke walked ahead of them, pushing open the doors and making his way into the club. His face changed from broody to happy in less than a second. Naruto and Sakura stayed slightly behind watching as Sasuke turned from cool collected male, to cutesy, adorable, ditzy female. Naruto leaned toward Sakura. "Man, he's good." Sakura merely nodded.

"You three are here early." A familiar voice sounded to the left of them. They turned in time to see Kakashi walking up to them. "And surprisingly enough, so are you." Sakura replied glaring at her teacher. Kakashi scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yes well, you can't put off business." He looked over the two. Sakura was dressed in a pink kimono with her hair up in a loose bun and Naruto… "Uh… Naruto, you look like a…"

"I know."

"Oh… okay."

Kakashi cleared his throat before giving out more instructions. "I think the three of you should split up. Ask around about this guy. Tarukane is the name the client gave us. Go ask around. If they don't wanna talk, don't bother prying. Just wait until he gets here. The client said we'd know when he came in right away." The two nodded.

They split up to begin asking around about this guy. What he did and where he normally stayed. The majority of people didn't speak much of it. Either because they didn't know, or were too afraid to say.

Sasuke had heard the details of the current objective from Sakura, who had come up to him shortly after hearing from Kakashi to split up and scout. He sat down at a stool and rested his arms on the counter. The bartender eyed him curiously before going back to cleaning out his cups. Sasuke wasn't sure what kind of drinks they had here. Mostly alcoholic he presumed. He heard someone sit down next to him. Sasuke instinctively sat up straighter.

'_Act like a woman. Do something a woman would do!_' He thought to himself. So he combed a hand through his hair and smoothed out the crinkles of his kimono in his lap. He heard an "ahem" to his left and turned. The guy who he was now looking at had a hungry look on his face, and Sasuke didn't even have to guess as to who and what that look was referring to. He smiled politely with a small bow.

"My my my, what is a woman of your stature doing in a place like this?" He asked in a sultry accent. Sasuke resisted the urge to gag. But Sasuke knew… the only way to get information from people, was to play on their attitudes. In this case, he knew he had to flirt.

"What? A girl of my… _stature_ can't come have a little fun every once in awhile?" He had cheated, yes, he used a jutsu to disguise his voice. But he couldn't help it, his voice was way too deep to try raising it.

"I like the way you think missy. Want anything to drink? It'll be on me." Sasuke slightly turned his head away to conceal the slight look of annoyance. He turned back with a smile. "No thanks, I don't drink, mister." The guy put a hand to his chest in mock hurt. "Ow. _Mister_? You make me sound old." Sasuke shrugged teasingly.

'_Yeah… I'm 15 and you look about 25 plus. You might as well call yourself a pedophile. Being old is the least of your problems.'_

"Well, if you're not thirsty… maybe you're hungry?" The guy crept closer to Sasuke slowly. An arm snaked its way toward Sasuke's butt and squeezed.

'_Don't punch him in the face. Don't punch him in the face. Don't punch him in the face.'_

"Oh, I nearly forgot. What's your name missy?"

A dark aura seemed to exude from Sasuke. He grabbed the wrist of the hand that was on his backside and squeezed it hard. Satisfied when he heard a pop. "_**My name… is fuck off.**_" He threw the hand off him and grabbed the back of the guy's neck forcing his head to the counter. Sasuke brought his face to eye level with the guy and made sure he was looking at him. He dropped the female voice. "Look pal, I'm only going to ask this once, so you had better answer me correctly the first time or I might just do something rash and break your neck." He kept his voice down so as not to cause a scene. Even the bartender didn't seem to notice. The guy nodded his head urgently. "What do you know of Tarukane?"

The guy's eyes widened and he looked around frantically. "You're looking for Tarukane?" Sasuke growled. "Keep your voice down fucker or I'll cut off every appendage on your body. Starting with your penis." The grip on the guy's neck tightened, and Sasuke heard a startled yelp.

"Okay… okay… His full name is Tarukane Takahashi. He's been acting as the boss of this place for awhile. Just… taking whatever the hell he wanted. No one has enough authority to take him down. Not like anyone is bothering to oversee this place with this guy around anyway." Sasuke looked around to make sure no one was listening in on his conversation. He eyed the man at his mercy. "I heard from a few sources that he's been kidnapping people." The guy nodded. "Y-yeah… I heard a lot about that. People were starting to go around to villages to hire ninjas to deal with him. But as far as I know, the whole thing has been treated as a civilian problem. No one's lifted a finger to help." The guy's eyes widened impossibly large. He gave Sasuke a frantic look. "You're a ninja aren't you? Look man, I got nothing to do with him! Nothin'!"

Sasuke pushed his face further into the counter. "Shut up fool. I just want information." The guy was shaking uncontrollably underneath his hold, and Sasuke felt slightly guilty when he even started to smell the stench of urine. "I apologize. I didn't mean to come off so harshly. I just don't take too kindly to people grabbing my ass." The guy nodded in a jerky fashion. Sasuke sighed. He released his hold from the back of the guy's neck. "Do you happen to know where he's keeping these girls?"

The guy shook his head. "N-no… I don't know anything about that." Sasuke nodded. "Thank you. The information you provided me was most helpful." The guy nodded slowly, as if in a daze. He lifted himself off the stool and stumbled his way toward the exit.

"Oh, and by the way." The guy looked back at Sasuke who was holding a twenty dollar bill between his index finger and middle finger. "Thanks for the drinks." The guy looked down at his pocket and noticed his wallet had been emptied. He looked back up, but the blue kimono clad ninja had up and vanished.

* * *

Naruto was walking around the club with the most annoyed expression on his face. _No one_ would give him any information. Hell, no one would even say fucking _hi_ to him. Let alone a full sentence. The most he got were disgusted grunts and uh's.

He walked through the club with his shoulders hunched. Not like it mattered if he walked like a man now anyway. It was already painstakingly obvious that he indeed _wasn't _a woman_._ He wasn't even really paying much attention to where he was going anymore. More focused on brooding about the fact he was getting odd stares and the fact he couldn't just gather information dressed as a guy. Without realizing someone was in front of him, he bumped into them.

Naruto stumbled backwards and mumbled out half hearted apologies before looking up slowly. He immediately regretted the action, for what stood in front of him… was a monster in every sense of the word.

A big… burly… _monster_.

A fake wig that fell into ringlets around a fat, round face. Terribly hideous make up that was caked on so heavily that it all ran together; making the very much _male_ person look like some sort of clown.

And what was worse… was the guy was wearing a dress… _A dress!_

"Well hi there cutie. You look mighty scrumptious today." Naruto felt his left eye start to sporadically convulse. "This is not what I look like everyday, I assure you." Naruto said, attempting to turn around and get away from this freak as fast as he possibly could. Before he could make his quick get-away, a large hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Now hold on a second there sugah. We haven't even properly introduced ourselves yet." Naruto managed to get away from the hand without touching it. "And just this once, I don't rightfully care."

The huge man seemed to smirk, but with all that make up and fat… it was hard to tell. "Now is that any way to treat Tarukane's second in command?" Naruto stopped flinching in disgust at hearing the name. The man seemed to be waiting for Naruto to start kissing up to him. It was apparent he used the line a lot to make people cower in fear and do as he asked.

"You're… Tarukane's second in command?" Naruto wondered in miffed disbelief. How could anyone hire something like _that_ to get anywhere near them? This Tarukane guy was one sick bastard.

"Why yes I am." He said matter-of-factly. Naruto gave the guy a suspicious look, making the large monstrosity falter a bit at not getting any reaction of fear out of the blonde. "If you're his second, you know everything about him right?" The man took a step back as Naruto took a step forward.

"O-of course. How could I not?" Naruto looked around to make sure no one was listening to him before raising his hand to his mouth to whisper. "So you know where he pees?" The man gave Naruto a disheveled look. "Uh… sure."

Naruto's eyes brightened. "So you really are his second!" The large man leveled the blonde with a look that clearly stated, "this kid's either really dumb, or really dense. Or perhaps a _lota_ bit of both."

"Can you tell me about him?" The blonde asked in now a chipper mood. He just ran into the guy's _second._ Stick that in your juice box and suck it Sasuke! Mr. I can do everything better than you! Well today, no you can't!

The large man took another step back. "Uh… well, he's… very big." Naruto blinked. "He couldn't possibly be any bigger than you."

The guy towered over Naruto and yelled into his face. "EXCUSE YOU, YOU LITTLE TWERP!" Naruto moved his head out of spitting range.

"I heard he's been kidnapping a lot of girls. You should know of that, right?" The guy looked taken aback. "N-no… I haven't heard anything about that…" _Just who exactly was this blonde haired boy? _Naruto furrowed his eyebrows in distaste. "Some second in command you are." The man regained some composure. "Why exactly are you getting information about him anyway?" Naruto looked up at the man and gave him a cheeky grin. "I can't tell you that. I'm undercover!" He exclaimed before turning around and stalking off. "O-oh… okay."

* * *

Sakura was sitting on a stool at the counter with her elbow propped up. Her head was rested in her hand while she used her other hand to stir the water in her cup with her straw. She hadn't found any leads. Everyone she asked was way too afraid to give out information on the girls. She gave out a long, drawn out sigh. '_I guess I'm going to have to wait until he gets here, or just hope Naruto and Sasuke had better luck than I did._' At that moment, she heard someone plop down in the seat beside her. She looked over to see Naruto looking absolutely depressed.

"Oh, Naruto. How did it go?" Naruto looked at her, shivered, then looked back down at the counter. She turned around to the other side at the sound of Sasuke's voice.

"I swear, if one more fucktard grabs my ass, I will set the place on _fire_." He sat down rather harshly onto the stool beside Sakura. Sakura gave Sasuke a weak smile, deciding to let the teen cool off before asking how much information he got was the most wise idea.

"Fuck is seriously your favorite word." Naruto didn't seem to want to adhere to the wisest idea.

"Fuck you!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Sasuke. "See! I told you!" Sakura grabbed the arm that was stretched passed her face and lowered it. "Before we kick each other's ass and blow our cover, how much information did we gather?" Sasuke growled and turned away from the two. His head rested on his hand. "Nothing useful. Just that he's been in this shady business for awhile."

Naruto slumped down onto the counter. "I just know he's big…" Sakura and Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto. Sakura cleared her throat before saying what she had gathered on the subject. "Unfortunately, everyone I talked to weren't too keen on giving

me any information on him. This guy seems to have the town under his thumb." Sasuke nodded his agreement.

"I agree. There's barely any resistance from these people." At that moment, the doors to the club were thrown open, and a man stalked in with an air of great power and authority. Sakura and Sasuke glared at the man walking up to the bartender and asking, or rather, demanding, to be shown to his private room. "I guess that's him." Sakura stated, never taking her eyes off the guy. Sasuke silently nodded beside her. There were four bodyguards, all ninja. Most likely of jonin rank as Kakashi had predicted. Two went in with the guy, and two stood by the door.

"What are the odds he's scouting this place for his next victim?" Sakura asked the raven haired boy beside her. Sasuke narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Very high." Sakura turned back around in her seat. "I have a plan." Sasuke looked at her through the corner of his eye, but didn't move back around. Naruto raised his head to let her know he was listening. "One of us is going to have to get in there, while the other two stay outside and deal with the ninja blocking the entrance with Kakashi. Or, all three of us get in there to deal with the two ninja inside while Kakashi takes care of the ninjas blocking the door." Sasuke looked from Sakura, to the guards, then back to Sakura. "And how do you propose we get passed them?" Sakura smiled innocently.

"With our womanly charm of course. _We_ can be the next victims." Naruto raised his head fully off the table. He stared at Sakura in horror. "What? I don't wanna be raped!" He exclaimed. Sakura punched him upside the head. "Not for real, we're only going to pretend to be victims." Naruto seemed to relax considerably. "Oh… okay." Sakura sighed and mumbled "idiot" under her breath. Sasuke made sure to disguise his voice with a jutsu before the three of them made their way to the two ninja standing by the door. They couldn't see or sense Kakashi, but they knew he was there.

One of the ninja raised his hand. "Hold up, this is the room of Tarukane." Once he laid eyes on Sasuke however, he quickly changed his tune. "Oh… why hello there miss. What might you need?" Sasuke knew he was being addressed, so he put his hands behind his back in an innocent manner and gave the ninja his best kicked puppy look. "I-I heard Tarukane was giving money to any girl here who wanted to be his bride. I thought I fit the description." The guy practically had hearts in his eyes. "Yes, he did, but what would a lovely young woman like yourself need money for?" Naruto and Sakura eyed Sasuke from the corner of their eyes. Giving him a look that asked him if he knew what he was doing. Sasuke disregarded them in favor of working his way into that room.

Sasuke raised his hand to cover his mouth in an act of innocent modesty. "W-well you see… my mother is very ill… and I have no way to pay for her treatment…. I thought this was the best way to get it." He looked back up at the guard and nearly blew his cover by glaring when he saw the guy had tears in his eyes, and had accepted the lie without question. '_He's more of a fool than Naruto…_'

"All right… You can go in." He said between hiccups. Sasuke walked up along with Naruto and Sakura, but the two of them were stopped. The other guard put a hand up in front of them. "But not you two, go on home." Sasuke looked back and shrugged before making his way into Tarukane's room. Sakura eyed the men standing in the doorway. "Did they just brush me off?" Naruto sensed the oncoming wave of a personality change. "N-no Sakura, Sasuke just had a believable story." Sakura didn't even seem to be paying attention to him.

"Do they think…a _guy_ is _prettier_ than _**me**_!" Naruto held Sakura back before she could storm the two ninjas stationed at the door.

Sasuke was allowed inside by the two guards stationed on the inside of the room. Sasuke looked around a moment before his head snapped to the voice he heard coming from the direction of the window. "Well well well, what have we here?" The guy had his back turned toward Sasuke. Sasuke eyed his back suspiciously, while thinking of a new plan since he was the only one who managed to get in. Tarukane turned around slowly to face his newest victim. "Ah, a very pretty one this time." He walked over to Sasuke slowly. Sasuke resisted the urge to puke when arms were wrapped around him and hands found their way to his rear. _Why is it always the ass?_

"So, came here to become my bride have you?" He asked in a sickeningly disgusting way that reminded Sasuke of Orochimaru. A thought he really wasn't fond of. But he grinned regardless. "What can I say, I'm attracted to men with power." Easy enough, and not entirely false. He was attracted to people with power, just not ugly _guys_ with power who abused it. "Ah, I see." Something in the way the guy was speaking sent a nervous chill up Sasuke's spine. One of the hands on his backside slowly ran up the raven's back. Tarukane used that hand to press Sasuke further into himself. Sasuke found it extremely difficult not to puke on the man's shoulder.

"You know, I already know what you are, so you can drop the whole innocent act." Sasuke's eyes widened in shock. Had he given himself away that easily? Had he focused too hard on maintaining his feminine voice? His movements ceased and his breathing became shallow.

'_Don't falter… since he already knows, I can just threaten him…._' The two ninja behind him shifted as if reminding him of their presence.

Outside of the room, Naruto and Sakura had found Kakashi. The three of them were already making plans on how to get Sasuke out if the situation got ugly. "We need to give him some time. If it takes longer than thirty minutes, we're going in after him. All right?" The two ninja beside him nodded.

They were eyeing the door in anxious anticipation of what was to come.

Back in the room, Sasuke had been weighing out his options in his mind. Take the guards down and risk hurting civilians, or cooperate and hear Tarukane out. He decided not to drop the female voice. Although it seemed Tarukane knew he was a ninja, it didn't seem he knew he was a _male_ ninja.

"Okay, well since the cat's out of the bag, what do you intend to do?" Tarukane moved his head very close to Sasuke's and near his ear. Sasuke felt the disgusting lips and breath and nearly choked on his own saliva. "I have this whole place lined with explosives, try anything… and the whole place goes boom." Sasuke's eyes widened a fraction larger.

Great… of course he'd use some underhanded trick to safeguard his ass completely. Sasuke gnashed his teeth together painfully. Okay… rethink previous options. Test him to see if he's bluffing and risk Kakashi, Naruto, and Sakura getting blown up as well as roughly fifty other civilians… or, see where he's going with this.

"Okay… I'm listening." The man next to his ear chuckled darkly. "Good girl. I assume you've heard of the missing girls, otherwise, I don't think you'd be here right now." Man… this guy smelled like straight up ass. He wished he would back up just a _little. _"Brilliant deduction." The dark chuckle came back and rumbled next to his ear. "Ah, a fiery one. How I would love to tame _you._" _Ugh… how disgusting…_

Sasuke couldn't hide the disgusted shiver that ran through him. "Come with me, and I'll release all of them. Refuse my offer, and not only will I kill everyone here, but I'll force you to come with me _and_ kill the girls within my possession."

_Oh, how lovely._

Tarukane removed his head from Sasuke's ear and grabbed the raven's jaw lightly. He lifted it so as to get in better range for a kiss. Sasuke nearly started hyperventilating.

_Fuck… FUCK. What do I do? What the fuck am I going to do?_

The man's face inched closer and Sasuke was nearly about to tear himself away from the man when the door suddenly crashed open. But who came through that door… was not whom he expected.

Instead of Kakashi, or Naruto, or Sakura… who dashed into the room… was the ninja he had so easily fooled before. Tarukane looked as equally surprised as Sasuke himself did. "Do not worry miss Ai! I will save you!" He dashed forward, already taking the other two ninja out who were too confused with the situation to do anything but gawk around dumbly.

_Miss what…?_

"Unhand her!" He wailed, throwing Tarukane off of Sasuke who just let himself fall to the floor after the man who had nearly put his filthy lips on him was gone.

_What the hell is going on?_

Sasuke turned around to see his fellow three ninjas grinning at him in sheer amusement while standing in the doorway. They walked in and stood beside Sasuke. Naruto bent forward to get in the raven haired boy's face.

"Thanks _Ai_, we couldn't have done it without you." Sasuke gaped like a fish out of water, still so utterly confused. "While you were in there, this ninja here had gotten so worked up about sending you in to be molested by Tarukane that he had to do something. He told us where the girls were and off he went gallantly galloping in to save his love." Kakashi concluded. He couldn't help but chuckle at the expression on Sasuke's face. It truly was priceless.

"And we named you Ai, hope you don't mind too much." Naruto said standing up straight again with a sadistic grin on his face. "Actually, NARUTO, named you Ai. It wasn't a unanimous decision." Sakura said to console any feelings of anger Sasuke might have directed at her.

Sasuke glared up at the three. "So… I just got molested for _nothing_?" He asked breathlessly. Kakashi chuckled. "Well, look at the bright side, he wouldn't have told us anything if you hadn't of went in there in the first place. He had just felt so guilty."

_I hate this day. I hate this day. I HATE this day._

"And as for the explosives, we defused them. The ninja over there told us where they were as well."

The four of them looked over at the ninja who was beating the crap out of Tarukane. Sasuke stood on shaky legs. "Lets just… get this over with." The girls still needed saving, and right after that, Sasuke was going to hole himself up in his house and call it a day. The other three ninja of Konoha followed Sasuke out of the room. Two of them in visible amusement and the other in worry.

They had made their way out of the club and were on their way to their next destination when a voice cried out to them. Or… to Sasuke.

"Miss Ai! Miss Ai!" Sasuke stilled and hunched his shoulders. He mechanically turned his head to look over his shoulder at his newest stalker. He seemed slightly out of breath. "Miss Ai…" He regained his composure and turned Sasuke around, grabbing his small pale hands in his larger tan ones. "You… are my first love." Sasuke started foaming at the mouth. He really did. Naruto started laughing his ass off, but the ninja disregarded the other three completely.

"Will… will you marry me?" Sasuke stared at the man holding his hands in disbelief. _Really? Honestly? Truly? This guy knew NOTHING of him…_

Sasuke quickly recovered and thought of something to say to him that would put him down gently. This guy did save them a lot of trouble after all. "W-well you see… I can't." The guy seemed shocked at being rejected. "You said you were marrying for money to help your sick mother, I will help you Ai!"

_Fuck… maybe that was his favorite word. Huh._

"Uh… uh… well you see… I can't because…" He looked around and noticed Naruto was still laughing hysterically. He grabbed the blonde's arm and forced him toward himself. "I'm really a lesbian."

Kakashi and Sakura were finding it increasingly difficult to not laugh hysterically themselves. The man didn't waver. "I can deal with that. We can have threesomes whenever you like."

That was it, Naruto was banging on the floor in complete hysteria. Sasuke was back to gaping like a fish in disbelief of the lot of this day. "W-well you se… I…" He ran behind Sakura who was giggling with tears streaming down her face. He whispered harshly into her ear. "Help me!" Sakura regained her composure and looked at the man standing expectantly over them. "Well, she can't because… she's afraid of penises." Sasuke's eyes widened comically large. He guffawed at the back of Sakura's head.

He then looked up at the man. "Y-yes… I've been dealing with it for awhile… and I thought I was ready to overcome my fear… but you see…. I now know I'm still not quite ready." The ninja pushed away Sakura and placed his hands on Sasuke's shoulders. "It's okay Ai. We can work through it together."

_What. The. FUCK._

That was it. He dropped the female voice and glared at the man. "Look, I'm a guy. A MALE. I just came here in a disguise. All right?" The guy blinked several times in confusion. "But if you're a man, why are you afraid to get near a penis?" Sasuke had never felt more defeated by a question. Naruto was yelling things that sounded like, "PLEASE, PLEASE STOP. I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!" Kakashi had turned away.

The man didn't relinquish his hold on Sasuke's shoulders. "That's okay. We can work something out, I know we can." Sasuke just let his head fall forward limply. The other three couldn't stop laughing. A familiar sound of birds could be heard, and the trademark blue sparks surrounding Sasuke's fist could be seen.

"_**CHIDORI."

* * *

**_

_**Mission complete.**_


	2. Everlasting

**So this is like, part 2 to Disguise. I've decided to turn it into a series of missions that are all related to each other. **

"Just… a little… _closer_!" Naruto urged. He had a stick in his hand pointing it in the direction of a cat that was stuck rather high on top of a branch in a tree. He was sitting atop the shoulders of Sakura, who was looking more and more irritated with the situation as time went on. "Will you just… GET IT?" She yelled in exasperation. How long had they honestly been standing here like this?

Naruto leaned upward, and swung the stick. He just barely missed the cat whom hissed in response.

"Oh, you almost had it on that swing." Sasuke spoke somewhere off to the side in a mocking tone. He had his hands leisurely stuck in the pockets of his shorts just watching the spectacle. Naruto growled before pointing the stick in Sasuke's direction. "You know, you could help!" Sasuke tsk'd.

"Now why would I do that? You're making quite the fool of yourself so well _without_ my help. And besides_, I'm _the one who dared you not to use any tricks to finish this mission. I'm not suppose to help." Naruto furrowed his eyebrows in frustration at Sasuke's display of mockery. Sakura inwardly sighed to herself. '_Well… why do I have to participate in this?' _Her face etched with barely suppressed humiliation. Naruto mumbled under his breath before trying again at using the stick on the petrified feline. The stick missed the cat for what seemed like the millionth time. "Oh… so close and yet so far."

Naruto threw the stick at Sasuke's still form. "Ya know, I could really deal without your commentary!" Sasuke dodged the stick by merely sidestepping to the right. "It's not my fault you were complaining about getting assigned a D rank genin mission. I just wanted to spice things up a bit. Give you a bit of a challenge, but by the looks of it however, it seems it might've been too much for you." Naruto looked like he was on the verge of either ripping his hair out, or hulk smashing Sasuke. He was seriously considering the latter.

Sakura then proceeded to throw Naruto off her shoulders; leaving the blonde haired ninja to fall unceremoniously on the ground below. With her uncanny chakra control, she easily walked up the tree without even having to concentrate on it at all. Naruto hauled himself up into a sitting position. "No Sakura! We were suppose to get it without using ninja skills!" Sakura stood in place, and glared down at Naruto. "I wasn't dared to do anything, and this is getting ridiculous." Naruto sat there with his arms crossed pouting as Sakura effectively got the cat out of the tree.

Sasuke nonchalantly strolled up to Naruto. He squatted down to his level, never taking his hands out of his pockets. "I guess this means you don't get to eat ramen for a week." Naruto flailed his arms around in anger. "That's not fair! She wasn't part of the dare!" Sasuke gave another series of tsks. "Doesn't matter. You failed to complete the mission without the use of skills." Naruto returned to his pouting.

"Hello my wonderful students! How are you all on this fine morning?" The voice of Kakashi was heard approaching the three who weren't all that surprised at their teacher's sudden appearance. Naruto stood up and turned to his silver haired teacher. "Kakashi… why aren't there any _real_ missions we can take… We're not genin anymore!" Kakashi chuckled. He raised his hand to his chin and scratched it in thought. "Well, now that I think about it, there is one mission that you three could do." He spoke as if he had had the idea of giving them this assignment from the very beginning.

Sasuke glared at Kakashi who didn't seem fazed at all. "Let me just walk away now before I'm forced into a dress again."

"It's not a simple recon mission like before. It's actually a very dangerous mission, or so the client explains." Sasuke had stood up from his position on the ground, and was now crossing his arms with a serious expression on his stoic face. Naruto looked intensely interested in what Kakashi was explaining. Sakura just rolled her eyes at the change in their teacher's tone of voice to add a scary and endearing effect to the mission. What was more eye rolling worthy however, was that it was going to work on the two boys standing in front of her.

"No one has even dared to take this assignment… yet. It's even been classified as an A rank mission." Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Kakashi, never the patient type. "Well, what kind of mission is it then?" Kakashi smiled deviously behind his mask. "You have to find, and return an artifact. According to the client, this particular item gives immortality to whoever uses it, and everlasting youth."

Naruto's face lit up in awe, even Sasuke looked genuinely interested. "It's actually not too far from here, only a few hours trip to a village near the Land of Waves." Naruto jumped up and down in renewed enthusiasm. "What are we waiting for then? Let's go!" Kakashi raised his hands up to calm Naruto. "Wait a second, you have to hear what it looks like, don't you?" Naruto momentarily ceased his jumping to listen to Kakashi.

"The artifact is a very intricately designed box. The client instructs us to not, under any circumstances, open the box. When you arrive at the village, you'll find the artifact with a merchant. All you have to do is tell him the password, Everlasting, and he'll give it to you without question." Naruto nodded eagerly. He then proceeded to run in the direction of the land of waves along with Sasuke who was equally as eager. Sakura sighed audibly before walking at a normal pace behind them. "Here we go again…"

Kakashi placed his hands on his hips looking thoroughly satisfied with himself. He wasn't at all startled when he heard Iruka's voice behind him. "Did you just send… those three to do _your_ assigned mission?" Kakashi merely shrugged off the accusation. "No, they obviously volunteered." Iruka walked up to stand beside Kakashi. "That was an S ranked mission… not an A. Are you trying to get your students killed?" Iruka glared at Kakashi whom gave another shrug. "They'll be fine."

"You lazy, irresponsible, son of a bi-"

It wasn't that long of a trip for the three ninja to get to the village. Reason being because Naruto had challenged Sasuke to a race to make up for the dare he lost so he could have another shot at getting his ramen back.

Sasuke and Naruto were sucking in much needed oxygen with their hands rested on their knees. "So… I guess that's two weeks without ramen." Naruto glared at Sasuke. Sasuke smirked back at him, but with much difficulty. "Man, fucker, can you ever fly." Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Naruto whose face changed from annoyance, to a face splitting grin. Sakura then ran up behind them; completely out of breath.

"Why must everything be a challenge between you two?" She asked between pants. It was more a rhetorical question than anything. Sakura just felt it needed to be asked regardless. Naruto regained his composure and pointed at Sasuke. "If he wasn't such a prick, I wouldn't have to dare him so much!" Sasuke scoffed. "If he wasn't such a dumb ass, I wouldn't have to watch him lose so much." Naruto was back to glaring at his long time rival. Sakura sighed. "Let's just hurry up and find this guy before you both start killing each other." She started ahead of them with an air of clear annoyance around her.

Sasuke and Naruto followed close behind her. The village they were now in was actually quite lively. Everyone they passed was cheerful and inviting. The three received a lot of hey's as they walked through.

"Do you think they're all so cheerful because of the artifact Kakashi mentioned?" Naruto asked his two companions. "Possibly. Whose to say?" Sasuke spoke while waving at an enthusiastic merchant. Everything was bright with such a sunny disposition. The three of them looked around at all the smiling faces of the residents. It was actually kind of creepy.

"Damn… even _I _don't smile _this _much." Naruto said hiding behind Sakura. Sasuke snorted. "Don't be such a pansy. They're just people." Naruto shot Sasuke a look of disdain. "People who look a little too damn happy about doing daily chores." Sasuke scoffed at Naruto's ridiculous behavior. "What? These people aren't allowed to be happier than you?" Naruto huffed before looking away from Sasuke and back to hiding behind Sakura. "Yes… just… anyone who actually _is_ happier than me warrants being called creepy." Sasuke looked at a woman who waved at him vigorously. He attempted to smile and wave back, but it was awkward and half-assed.

"Point… taken."

Sakura then spotted a shady looking man cloaked in dark layers of clothing behind a few stands. He stood out quite obviously from the rest of the people around the village. He wasn't selling anything like food, or merchandise; just a lone box sitting atop his stand. She stopped, letting Sasuke and Naruto bump into her. "I think that's the guy we're looking for." She said pointing at the man who seemed to be looking around for someone. They both nodded in silent agreement.

The three of them approached the guy warily. He noticed them immediately, scanning over them for something. He seemed quite tense, for he grabbed the box and moved it closer to himself. "Um… we're here to pick something up… We're Konoha ninjas." Sakura spoke first, unsure if this was even where they were suppose to be or not. The man seemed to relax considerably, but still seemed to not entirely trust the three standing before him. "Password." Was all he said behind the darkness of his cloak.

"Everylasting!" Naruto exclaimed excitedly. Sasuke punched him in the side. "Everlasting, you moron." Naruto rubbed at his injured kidney giving Sasuke a heated glare. Nothing else was said as the man slid the box across the table over to the three Konoha ninja. They didn't even get to properly see the man's face as he walked away from the stand. They watched the box in anticipation as if it would suddenly spring to life or something.

"…That's it? We just… take it?" Naruto asked leaning over Sakura's shoulder to peer down at the seemingly innocent artifact below. The only female in the group shrugged. "I guess so." With that, she picked it up and held it close to herself. They began walking back in the direction of Konoha feeling somewhat… unsatisfied.

"What… no cool fight scene or… randomly appearing dragons… or…"

"Shut up Naruto."

"No YOU shut up, Sasuke!"

Even as Sasuke verbally fought with Naruto, he too felt that this mission was rather… anti-climactic.

"How long is it going to take for them to get back?" Iruka asked his silver haired friend. "Not too much longer. You shouldn't take the clients so seriously Iruka, that mission barely qualified as a D rank. It probably only has some necklace in it." Iruka gave Kakashi a confused look.

"I thought you said it had some mythical power inside." Kakashi chuckled before reaching into the pouch on his back pocket to pull out a small orange book. "I made that up of course, and it kind of matched the password the man gave me. Pretty cool, huh?"

Iruka grunted in distaste. "No, now I just think you're an irresponsible asshole."

They walked back much slower than the "run" to the village. They were in the forest now, not really speaking to each other. Naruto was beginning to miss the bustling village they had just left. "I guess those people really were just… really happy." The blonde haired ninja attempted to break the silence as he kicked a stray rock out of the path they were walking along. The other two beside him nodded silently. Naruto sighed, and looked upward toward the sky. After that, he rolled his shoulders, and stuck his hands in his pockets. Then kicked more rocks.

Yep… he was bored.

"Man… Kakashi lied to us…" Naruto whined running a hand through his blonde hair. "Wouldn't be the first time." Sakura replied. She wasn't quite sure if she was happy he had lied, or if she wanted to kick his ass for giving them a mission _he_ was probably sent to do. Sasuke chose not to speak on the matter, and walked a bit ahead of the other two.

Naruto eyed the box that was nestled in Sakura's hands. It looked like some ordinary jewelry box or something… everlasting youth my foot. "Let's open it." He suddenly said. Sakura glared at him. "No way… Kakashi said we weren't to open it under any circumstances." Naruto returned the glare with equal force. "I thought we already established that Kakashi was lying to us…" Sakura seemed to mull it over in her head for a moment. Naruto decided she was taking way too long to decide whether or not they should open a damn box, so he made a move to grab at it.

Sakura tried to move away, "Cut it out Naruto!" Naruto grabbed the other end. "Come on! Just a peek!" They struggled for the box before it slipped out of both of their hands. Sasuke stopped to turn around and yell at the two childish moron's behind him, when he felt the object of their trivial bout hit his foot. The two watched as the box opened and engulfed Sasuke in a puff of smoke.

"S-Sasuke?" Sakura stuttered, watching as the smoke still had yet to dissipate. Naruto blinked inquisitively before walking up slowly toward the smoke. Once he approached, the fog lifted suddenly, revealing only clothes.

"EH?" Sakura squeaked in miffed disbelief. She looked around wildly for any signs of a naked Sasuke, and as much as that thought pleased her, she was still quite worried. "This is ALL YOUR FAULT NARUTO! We shouldn't have opened the box! DAMN IT!" Naruto wasn't really listening to her shouts, as he was more intent on staring at the small bundle Sakura had overlooked during her freak out session. He kneeled down slowly when said bundle started to move.

Sakura had yet to stop her screams of anguish. "Sakura… be quiet for a second." Naruto muttered never looking over his shoulder at her. Sakura fumed.

"Be quiet! Oh, I'll be qui-" She stopped when she finally noticed something moving under Sasuke's clothes.

A small head of black hair finally surfaced through the opening of the black shirt Sasuke had been wearing. Two large, ebony eyes scanned the area before looking up into sapphire and emerald ones.

Sakura's face began to twitch uncontrollably. A smile formed on her lips as she fought the urge to squeal. Unfortunately for the small boy sitting inside the clothes, she had lost the fight.

"HOW CUTE!" Sakura picked up Sasuke and his clothes and squeezed him in a Sakura style bear hug. Naruto managed to get the small boy away and sat him back on the ground, stretching an arm out in front of Sakura to make sure she didn't attempt another grab and squeeze. Sasuke looked breathless for a moment before he glared up at the two in front of him, but the effect kind of died due to his now puffy cheeks and big, round eyes. Even Naruto looked to be resisting the urge not to hug him.

"What deh hewell just happened?" Sasuke asked at a much higher pitch. He looked around and saw the box laying completely opened and empty a few feet away from him. "It seems it did have some kind of magical power inside it!" Naruto said sounding positively thrilled at their discovery.

Sasuke attempted to bore holes through Naruto's head, but only succeeded in making himself look like he was pouting. "I don't cawre, just figuwre out how to fix this!" Sasuke exclaimed in anger. Naruto snickered. "Having trouble pronouncing R's?"

"Shaddap."

Sakura shook herself out of "squish it because it's cute" mode. "Oh great… what are we going to tell Kakashi now that we've opened it?" Sasuke tried his best to pick up his clothes. He managed to get some of them in his tiny hands, and waddled away from the two. "YOU both did it, not me."

Naruto hm'd to himself. "Well… we have to go back. The guy who we were suppose to give this box to is our only lead on how to change Sasuke back to normal." Sakura nodded in agreement. "Unusually shawrp dere blondie." Sasuke said from where he was sitting turned away from the two. Naruto was about to yell a comeback at Sasuke, when another idea crossed his mind. He smiled evilly before getting up and kneeling in front of Sasuke.

"Whose a cute little boy, Sasuke's a cute little boy." He spoke in a high pitched manner. He continued to speak to Sasuke in a way that parents talked to their babies or pets. Sasuke puffed his cheeks out at Naruto. "Why do I find yew speaking so preposterously to me so endearing?" Naruto grinned widely at Sasuke before attempting to pick the seemingly five-year-old up. "Pick me up and I'll gut yew, yew blonde haiwred, wramen swilling, son of a bitch." Naruto looked momentarily stunned before letting out a laugh.

"And here I thought your vocabulary only consisted of the words "Fuck" and "You." Sasuke scoffed cutely at Naruto's amused face. "Dat goes to show yew how much of an unperceptive dumb ass yew awre." Naruto smirked even though he just lost in a verbal fight with a five year old.

"Fine. Suit yourself. Well, let's go Sakura." He said while continuing on the path leading to the village. Sakura stared from Naruto, to a pouting, defiant Sasuke. "B-but…" Sasuke eyed Naruto's back in disdain before looking up toward Sakura who was pulling off a wonderful imitation of a fish out of water. He looked down at his clothes and automatically noted that he wasn't going to be able to get very far before his now tiny body would get exhausted from having to carry his oversized clothes. Out of the both of them, Sasuke hated to admit that he would much prefer Naruto carrying him than a bubbly Sakura, who would probably find the endeavor to be much too enjoyable.

Sasuke suddenly had the urge to cry and throw a fit at not having his way, which… was a weird sensation. He found it increasingly difficult to stop his eyes from glassing over with barely suppressed tears of aguish. Which, in turn, frustrated him more; adding to the already overwhelming urge to cry from his previous dilemma. When Sasuke _did_ start to cry, and _really_ cry, it startled Naruto enough to stop and turn around. Sakura's fish imitation became increasingly more realistic when Sasuke started wailing and _screaming_ like the five year old that didn't get his favorite candy bar while in the supermarket.

Sasuke wiped at his eyes that were already starting to redden and become swollen from tears. He stopped long enough to be able to get out a couple of sentences. "You can't leave me here like this! You did it to me!" Naruto looked utterly flabbergasted at Sasuke's temper tantrum, but he did have a point.

The blonde haired ninja walked over to the small, weeping Sasuke. "All right, all right. I'm sorry. Stop crying, it's weird." He bent down and lifted the small child up by his underarms, also making sure to pick up Sasuke's clothes as well so he would have something to wrap him up in. Walking out of Konoha with three teenagers and coming back with two, some clothes, and a naked kid would certainly raise some questions.

Sasuke's wailing was reduced to the occasional sniffle as he was placed on Naruto's hip. When he rested his head on the blonde's shoulder however, Naruto found it difficult not to squish the little brunette. He was just so damn _cute._

Naruto cleared his throat after that little dramatic scene was over. He turned toward Sakura who was cooing at Sasuke's cuteness. Said raven haired teenager turned five year old was reflexively sucking on his middle, and index finger. _Must be a thing he use to do when he was upset at that age._

"I think… that it would be wise if we… thought of a plan. Now that this has happened, I don't think we should just, walk up in there and say, "Oops! The box just opened up and attacked him on its own, I swear." Naruto explained in all seriousness. Sakura didn't appear to be listening, so Naruto cleared his throat again.

"Oh sorry, did you say something?" Naruto sighed. This was going to be a difficult walk home. He looked down at the small bundle on his hip. "Do you have any ideas Sasuke?" Sasuke proceeded to sniffle before looking up into Naruto's sky blue eyes. "I'm cold… and I want a tomato." The orange clad ninja gave Sasuke a disheveled look.

"I think we should stop by the Land of Waves and get Sasuke something to wear for now, and maybe get some lunch. It's not too far from where we are now anyway." Sakura suggested. Naruto nodded in agreement. "Yeah, I suppose it would be better than going back to that other village who just saw Sasuke as a fifteen year old." Sakura gave a curt nod of affirmation. "My thoughts exactly." Naruto looked down at the child in his arms. "Is that all right with you Sasuke?" He didn't receive a response.

"Sasuke?" He shook the boy gently who furrowed his eyebrows in mild protest and groaned cutely. Naruto then noticed that Sasuke had fallen asleep on his shoulder, and cracked a grin. Sakura also noticed and raised her finger over her lips to quiet the loud teen.

They walked carefully to their destination making sure not to step on any leaves as they went.

The trip to the Land of Waves was short. They had already been really close due to their last excursion to the other village high off something Naruto wished he had asked what it was, so he could possibly invest in some himself. But aside from that, they had arrived, and the town was the same as they had last left it.

"I hope Kakashi won't mind us taking a detour. I have a feeling this was a mission he was previously planned to take." Sakura voiced her slight concern. She was walking alongside the side of Naruto that Sasuke wasn't occupying. Naruto shrugged. "I don't think he'll care. Besides, with the amount of excuses he can come up with to give _us_ for reasons why he's late all the time, I'm sure he has enough left to keep the client entertained." Sakura snorted in amusement before giving Naruto a soft smile. "Yeah, I suppose you're right."

At that moment, Sasuke decided that it was a good time to wake up. He yawned wide, and blinked half-lidded, ebony eyes at his surroundings. Naruto looked down at him. "Well, good morning to you. Bet you felt good not having to walk and being able to sleep." Sasuke furrowed his eyebrows in distaste at hearing Naruto's voice when he just woke up.

"Shaddap. You'wre too loud." Naruto rolled his eyes before averting his attention back to Sakura. "So where's a good place to go buy Sasuke some diapers?" The child in his arms growled vehemently. Sakura glared pointedly at her blonde haired companion. "Don't antagonize him, Naruto." He shrugged in response. "Fine. But really, where are we going?" Sakura looked around at the shops in the immediate vicinity. She spotted a clothing store not too far from where they were currently standing. Surely that one would have something for young children.

"That store, over there. Let's see what they have." Naruto followed behind Sakura who led the way into the clothing store labeled Wave's Emporium. The pink haired member of the trio suddenly felt her girlish giddy glee creep upon her again at the opportunity to dress Sasuke up for a second time. She ran off into a random direction of the store leaving behind a startled Naruto to stand near the entrance in silent shock.

Sasuke began to feel restless in Naruto's arms. He started to struggle, which caught Naruto off guard. "Hey! Stop moving!" Sasuke didn't adhere to the demand, and continued struggling against Naruto's hold on him. The blonde growled.

He placed Sasuke on the floor and shook him slightly, but firmly. "I said stop." He spoke in an eerily demanding tone.

The look Naruto was giving him, plus his tone of voice had ceased Sasuke's movements. And, dare he admit it to himself, that he felt intimidated… by _Naruto_? Of all people… The thought disturbed the onyx haired boy to no end. So, Sasuke did the only natural thing to do when someone much larger than yourself was looming over you dangerously. He started crying.

Naruto's eyes widened comically large. He looked around and noticed he was getting odd looks from the people around him. Most were probably wondering why there was a child wrapped in clothes obviously too big for him crying in front of someone, who, they could only assume was the guardian. Naruto hugged the wailing boy close in an act of comfort. "Damn it Sasuke! Don't start now… I'll buy you all the tomatoes you can eat if you stop right now!" Sasuke was back to sniffling as he leaned his head down on Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto faintly heard the word, "promise?" and couldn't possibly contain the smile that forced it's way to his lips. "I promise." Damn if Sasuke wasn't one hell of an adorable kid. Said kid rubbed his face into the fabric of Naruto's shirt.

Naruto then moved his hands to Sasuke's sides and tickled them. The action caused a series of high pitch giggles to erupt from Sasuke's small form.

So. Fucking. _Cute. _How did his parents not fucking _eat_ him for crying out loud?

Sakura then came bounding back toward the two. Naruto looked up to see she had multiple sets of outfits in her hands. "I didn't know which one I liked more, so I grabbed them all so you guys could pick." Sasuke looked upward, saw pink, looked back down and muttered, "No." Unfortunately for him however, the pinkette hadn't heard him over her own mutterings.

"Oh, I can't decide. We'll just have to get them all." Naruto felt his eye begin a steady twitch.

"Oh, and Naruto, give me your wallet. I don't have enough to pay for all of these." Naruto didn't even bother fighting her as he reached into his back pocket to pull out a sum of money. He sighed before handing the girl all of it. _I guess I won't be eating tonight.

* * *

_

The trio were now walking down a street of the land of Waves towards the exit of the small village. Sasuke glaring furiously at the sidewalk. Not only was he forced into a miniature sailor suit, but he didn't even get to have ONE of his promised tomatoes.

"Oh, come on Sasuke. It's not like I had a choice. She stole all my money!" Naruto tried to console the angry brunette. Sakura glared at him, "don't blame this all on me." Sasuke continued to growl at the ground.

The three Konoha ninjas were stopped by a middle aged looking woman. She had walked up to them with a look that clearly stated she had something to say about the used-to-be-teen. She stood with a sophisticated air about her. Standing up so straight that they wondered if her back would just spontaneously snap in two. She looked down at the blonde haired Chunin in nothing short of disgust.

"Excuse me boy, but is that _your_ child?" Her voice was just as posh as her overly flamboyant choice in clothing.

The boy in question answered with the best thing he knew to say in this situation.

"Uh…"

"Of course he is. He just favors his mother in looks." Sakura exclaimed in his stead. The woman looked at Sasuke with his little sailor hat, then back up at Sakura and Naruto. "He doesn't look like either of you."

Naruto bent down to Sasuke's level and hugged him. "Of course he's my kid. I mean, look at him, he loves me!"

"**I'll kill you**."

The woman's eyes widened in surprise. Naruto laughed sheepishly while letting go of the irritated brunette.

"He just gets like this when he's… tired. Yes, tired. It happens all the time."

"**In your sleep**."

There was a momentary silence before Sakura took it upon herself to say something. "Yes, well, we better get home." She laughed lightly. The woman looked at her and nodded slowly.

"Get him to bed…" she continued. "Before he kills someone…" Sakura bent down and quickly picked Sasuke up. She walked swiftly passed the woman. Naruto followed closely behind her.

* * *

"And that's how it happened!" Exclaimed Naruto. The three were now in front of Iruka and Kakashi. The two exchanged bewildered looks before looking down at Sasuke who still had the same sour look upon his small face. They looked back up at Naruto who looked positively proud of his exclamation. Iruka cleared his throat while Kakashi scratched awkwardly at the back of his neck.

"Uh, Naruto, all you did was walk up to us and say, "and that's how it happened."" Kakashi spoke. His attention was drawn back to the child standing in a little sailor suit.

"Oh, really? Aw… it sounded really cool in my head then."

Sakura elbowed Naruto harshly in the side before attempting to explain the situation to the two very confused adults. "We… opened the box on accident. It was all Naruto's fault by the way."

Kakashi sighed before rubbing at his temples. "I thought I specifically told you not to open the box under any circumstances." Naruto rubbed at his wound before looking up at their teacher.

"Well, to be fair, we technically didn't open the box. It kinda just fell, and opened on its own."

Kakashi looked to be in deep contemplation as he stared down at Sasuke. "Kind of funny how I made that story up, and it kind of held some truth to what was inside the box." Naruto and Sakura's attention was diverted to the silver haired closet pervert.

"YOU MADE THAT UP?" They both simultaneously shouted.

Kakashi rubbed at his abused ear after they were finished shouting. "It's not like I knew _this_ was going to happen. I figured I'd just give you guys something to do with your time since you were complaining about the D rank mission."

The two didn't seem satisfied with the justification, but remained silent.

"Anyway, I guess we should just go back to the client and ask him if there's a cure." Sasuke seemed to finally snap out of pouting silently to himself. "IF there's a cure?" Kakashi was back to awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

"Ah, so you _did _open the box." A withered, old voice sounded somewhere behind the group of ninjas. They spun around to see an old man limping his way over to them on an equally old cane.

He chuckled as he stood before them. "Luckily enough for you," he looked down at Sasuke, who was staring at the old man skeptically. "I DO in fact have a cure." Sasuke looked up hopefully. "Well, give it to me!"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny vial. He handed it to Sasuke who took off the cap eagerly. "Careful young man. Only one sip will do. Drink too much, and it could kill you." Sasuke stared warily at the bottle. He sniffed it for good measure before bringing the rim to his lips. He took one small sip.

Everyone stood back from Sasuke as he then was engulfed with a familiar puff of smoke. It seemed to take forever before it all completely cleared, and what they saw, had them all shocked.

Naruto brought his hand up to cover his mouth. Small giggles were already escaping. Sakura looked so utterly appalled that she was reduced to tears. Kakashi was torn between laughing, or covering his eyes, while Iruka quickly averted his eyes in shock.

"Oh dear. It seems there might have been a small flaw in the antidote." The old man muttered to himself.

There was Sasuke, standing there a bit smaller than he originally was. He had gained a few curves, large breasts, an enlarged backside, and longer hair. And most of all, he (or she) was naked.

"What the hell…"

The old man began to back away slowly. "Well, I'll have to do some more testing. I'll get back to you once I've found the cure." He bolted from the ninjas at a much faster pace without the use of his cane.

Sasuke looked like he was about to murder something. Naruto walked up to him with a grin holding a familiar piece of fabric.

"Here Sasuke." Sasuke turned to Naruto with a glare that promised a slow and painful demise. "You can wear this till we find a cure for you." Sasuke looked down at the blue kimono the blonde haired ninja held up to him. His angry mood plummeted down to a defeated one.

"I hate my life."

* * *

**Mission complete.**

**A/N: Whew! Another part done. :D Kinda shorter than the first chapter, and I apologize if it isn't as amusing as the first. I just figured imagining a five year old Sasuke in a sailor suit made up for it in heaps and bounds. C: But I digress, what I wish to ask you all, my reviewers, is if you have any other plot ideas for some missions that the trio can go on. If your plot bunnies are making mad love and reproducing like wildfire, and you wish for me to write about it, leave me a review. I'd appreciate it. Well, that's all. c:**

**Oh, one more thing. I actually didn't mean to update this story, so if you got an e-mail saying chapter 3 is up, I apologize. I actually meant to update this little A/N here. I know, I fail. **


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